Sunday Blues

It's been a good day. I was able to sleep in a bit which with my children is not a common occurrence. I really have to thank my mom since she kept my son overnight. My son typically is an early riser no matter how late he was up the night before.

After waking, I decided to break out my camping gear. I plan on taking the demon spawn (aka my kids) camping next weekend. I haven't had the tent out in a while and wanted to make sure everything was in working order. It took me about an hour to get it set up and check for tears, holes, mildew and whatnot. Just about the time I confirmed everything was in good shape, my brother called to ask if I wanted to work on our project. What project you ask? Well let me tell you.

My brother and I have decided to create an online game. It's not going to be anything on a massive scale but something hopefully that will put a few extra bucks in our pockets. We spent a couple of hours hashing out some of the details and would have spent more, but I wanted to get up into the mountains and take some photos. I also wanted to check out the campground I planned for next weekend.

Roanoke city is set in a valley surrounded by the Blue Ridge Mountains . On one of these mountains, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway, is a small campground I have always wanted to try. It's nothing extravagant but it's close to home and is a good place for my children's first camping experience.

I grew up camping, both with my parents and as a boy scout. Some of my favorite memories are of times we spent in the woods. For those who have never experienced it, I can understand how it could be tough to see the attraction. With bugs, dirt, communal showers and usually no electricity, why would anyone sane intentionally put themselves in such a situation? It's something that has to be experienced to understand. There is something very peaceful about camping. The sounds of nature have an amazingly soothing effect. Whether it's a nearby brook winding it's way through the forest, or the birds, crickets or even the wind itself, it all combines into a symphony of the wood that brings in me a state of calm that I have found no where else.

So I packed the kids, my brother and my mom in my car and headed for the mountains. As I said, the campground is not to far from my house so it did not take long to reach. Unfortunately we found it closed, with a gate barring entrance onto the grounds. I was a bit surprised since most campgrounds are open by this time of year.

Not far from the campground is a nature center, so we headed there to see if we could get some information. The ranger there was very helpful and we found out that it will be another two weeks until it opens. So we decided rather than wait, we will go to another campground near Natural Bridge, Va that I have camped at previously. Not far from the nature center is a spot of interest known as Mill Mountain. Since the campground excursion didn't work out, we decided to take a quick trip there. The focal point of Mill Mountain is an enormous star. It's a massive structure of steel and neon. At night, it is lit and can be seen just about anywhere in the Roanoke valley.

It's quite a source of pride to most Roanokians but personally, I think it's a hideous eyesore. One advantage to the spot though are some pretty spectacular views of the valley.

Not far from the star are some nature trails. We chose one of the shorter ones and went for a brief walk in the woods. I opened a Flikr account and uploaded some photos for those who are interested.

Boring Day

Mowed grass.
Cleaned house.
Took daughter to softball practice.
Took son to mom's to spend the night.
Took care of sick wife throughout day.

One would think there would have been something interesting to report in this action packed day but sadly no. I originally intended to save some time to spend a few hours in the mountains and get some wildlife photos. Maybe tomorrow.

Sick

Well, the bug that seems to be bouncing about has landed on my poor wife. She is in bed making slurping and snuffling noises as I write this. If I didn't know better I would think there was a sleestak in our house.

She is full of soup and NyQuil and the kids are snug in their beds. Looks like another wild night for Jeff the partymeister. Maybe I'll catch up on my Battlestar Galacticas.

By the way, I blame my new friend Sherri for the illness that has invaded our home. I think by linking to her blog I allowed her disease into my house. Damned piece of crap anti-virus.

Blogger of the Caribbean Part 4

We finally were aboard. We went to locate our stateroom, which fortunately was only one deck directly below where we boarded which was near the bow of the ship on the port side.

By the way, for those who have a hard time remembering which is port and which is starboard here is a easy way to keep it straight. The word port and the word left each have the same number of letters. Therefore, facing the bow (front) of the ship, port is the left side of the boat and starboard the right side.


The room itself, while small, was cozy.

Yes, that's yours truly with my son. During the day, the pullman beds would be raised into the ceiling to allow for a bit more room. There was also a small sitting area (where my daughter, who is taking the picture is standing) that included a small sofa and a desk. Behind the sitting area, near the entrance was the bathroom which was small but adequate. Unfortunately I didn't take as many pictures of our cabin as I should have but this gives a fairly good idea of our living quarters for the week.

After meeting back up with my mom and brother in their cabin, the first order of business was taking care of our empty stomachs. We made our way to what is called the Windjammer cafe which is a buffet style restaurant.

I have heard from many sources that the food on a cruise is the best to be had. We found the food here, for the most part, to be adequate as far as lunches and dinners went. Breakfast, on the other hand, was delicious.

Once our bellies were full, and everyone in a much better mood, we decided to have a look around the ship.

Say what?

Every so often I tinker around with my blog profile. I was doing so today when I glanced at my Zodiac Year (I am a rooster) and remembered an anecdote from my childhood I felt worth sharing.

On my ninth birthday, I decided I wanted to try the only Chinese restaurant the small southern town I grew up in had available. It's name was Long River and to a nine year old boy, it seemed a place that would hold all the mysteries of the orient. It had an exotic look and smell that was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I imagined beautiful geisha girls serving the food to fierce samauri while dark ninja skulked in corners (never mind I was getting my countries mixed up, I was nine and didn't know the difference so gimme a break.)

Adding to its mystery was the fact that my dad constantly thwarted our efforts to visit Long River. Every time we brought the subject up, he would dismiss it with a comment such as "You wouldn't like it" or "It's not a place for kids". My brother and I had heard comments of this type before from my father, and since they were usually made in reference to adult things like alcohol, rated R movies and (gulp!) pornography, we could only imagine the debauchery that took place behind those red doors.

But I had played the birthday card. The rule was hard and fast. My dad made a few feeble attempts to dissuade me but I held firm. I must admit I was more than a little surprised when he reluctantly agreed.

I am pleased to say that, while there was none of the adventure or eroticism I had imagined, the meal was pretty much everything I thought it would be. The interior was even more exotic than the exterior. The tables were made of some type of black wood, polished to a high gloss. Colorful paper lanterns hung throughout and exotic eastern art was prolific. The food was unlike anything I had ever tasted before and since it was my birthday they owners brought us samples of many different types of dishes. It was a wonderful experience.

So how is this related to my blog profile and Zodiac year? Well, remember this was the late 70's and the country was going thru an astrology explosion. When the Chinese man who served us learned it was my birthday, he asked if I wanted to know my Chinese sign. I said yes and he asked the year I was born. I told him and he announced in his broken English, "You are a COCK!!!". Having a elderly Chinese man call me a cock was a little disconcerting. It was like having Master Po from Kung Fu curse at me,"You..grasshopper, are a world class prick...so sorry".After a second I realized what he meant.

All in all it was a great time though. I found out that my Dad was opposed to the place only because it was a bit pricey and he was a world class tightwad...so sorry.

Good Grief!!!

So I'm setting up my Blogrolling preferences and I get to the I'm feeling lucky option. "Hey", I say to myself (I often hold conversations like this), "That's a cool feature. A link that hits random blogs! Groovy!" So I enable it, despite a warning that there is no control over content. Once it pops up in my links list I decide to give er a whirl and it links me to some blog with a title like "Peter's Milf Blog" complete with pictures and all. Holy hell! Now I like porn as much as the next guy but I plan on keeping at least a modicum of decency on my blog.

If any of my two (that's right baby, I have doubled my circulation) regulars or anyone else was linked to something offensive I apologize. I have since removed the option.

Now where did I put my latest issue of Chunky Asses.....

Weekend

Well the weekend is almost over. Not a whole lot to report happened this weekend. I did buy a string trimmer and did a bit of yard work. My daughter had a scrimmage in softball and got a hit. This is quite an accomplishment since it was announced at the beginning of the season that her team is made up of the most inexperienced players in the league. I think I'll suggest to the coach they change their name from "The Hoo Crew" (don't ask me) to The Bad News Bears but I digress. I was very proud of my daughter (and told her many times) and not just because of her hit, but because I see real effort on her part this year (this is her third year in softball). In the past it was not at all unusual to see her in the outfield picking flowers or playing in the dirt. It always made me think of that great Pizza Hut Commercial, which has always been one of my favorites.

I did surprise my wife by managing to convince my mother to watch the kids today so I could take her to see Grindhouse. My wife is easily the biggest horror movie fan I have ever known. Her favorite are zombie films, but any horror film will do. Grindhouse is a rather clever movie that is actually two movies in one (Planet Terror and Deathproof), meant as an homage to the old exploitation flicks of the 60's and 70's. In order to capture the flavor of those old movies, the filmmakers intentionally scratched the film and include burns, skips and even missing reels (meaning the plot can jump forward whole minutes). The double feature is spliced together with a series of pseudo movie trailers such as Werewolf women of the SS, Don't, and Thanksgiving. All in all I really enjoyed both films. Planet Terror, directed by Robert Rodriguez is typical of his action heavy movies. Its the story of a town assaulted by zombies and is a pleasant mix of comedy, action and horror. Deathproof, directed by Quinton Tarantino is the story of a killer (Stuntman Mike) who uses his car as a weapon. Typical of Tarentino's films, Deathproof is dialogue heavy (75% talking, 25% action) which I usually don't mind since Tarantino's dialogue is so clever, but I wish he would have focused more on Stuntman Mike and less on the other characters. I don't want to give anything away so I'll stop here except to say that if you enjoy either director, or horror movies you should see this film. You won't be disappointed if you take it in the spirit intended and are able to suspend disbelief for a few hours.

Blogger of the Caribbean Part 3

The port terminal for Royal Caribbean is nothing spectacular. The best way to describe it would be as a very large bank lobby. On one side there are the "tellers" behind a counter that runs the length of the room. The rest of the room is mainly open with a few seats and tables here and there. Behind the tellers, the wall is made of glass and we can see the ship we would soon be boarding (hopefully). On one end of the room is a roped off escalator that we assume leads to the ship.

There are only about 100 people here when we arrive so we are quickly processed via one of the tellers. We are each given a card (kids as well) printed with our names and other information. We are told it will act as our room key and form of payment while on the ship. It turns out they only accept cash in the Casino. All other purchases on board are to be made with the card key and will be deducted from a credit card we provided.

We are then told there is a problem. It seems immigration is having some trouble processing the disembarking of the previous passengers and we will have to wait before we can board. We find a comfortable spot in the Que that has already formed and wait. Its around 12:00 noon and by now everyone is in a foul mood that is exacerbated by the fact that we haven't eaten anything since the day before. We chat a bit with other passengers and my kids take the opportunity to take a nap. I can't resist taking a picture of my kids asleep so I get out my camera.


I take two pictures when I notice a very large and angry looking black man wearing a uniform and a badge rushing toward me. From his urgency I look behind me expecting to see Osama Bin Ladin brandishing an AK-47 but I quickly realize I am his target. "No pictures!" he says with a Jamaican accent. Not wanting to be hauled off to Royal Caribbean jail I apologize for my transgression and put my camera away. I still don't understand why they don't allow pictures of their terminal but I suppose it has something to do with security. My mom speculated that Royal Caribbean didn't want pictures of the passengers looking like refugees making it to the Internet and I immediately wished I had been able to get a few more shots of the terminal before Deputy Dog had stopped me.

Something you should know about me is that I am a people watcher. People fascinate me, especially people in stressful situations. Every Christmas Eve I head to the mall just to watch the mayhem. So while the rest of my family was spending their time waiting by pretty much complaining about everything, I spent mine watching the people around me. It was obvious there was a large amount of foreigners we would be sharing the ship with. I was immensely fascinated with watching a German family slowly inch their way into the middle of the line. Despite the fact there were about six of them they were amazingly skillful in easing their way in between our family and the family behind us without notice. Where they made their fatal mistake was that once they had secured a spot behind us, they then decided to try improve their position further by passing us. Where I am a people watcher, my wife is a people hater. I should amend that. She is a rude people hater. The first time the Germans made a move past us my wife stepped forward and exclaimed to no one in particular "You know, there is a line!" The Germans at Nuremberg stood a better chance than this group versus my wife. They recognized they were in the face of a superior foe and immediately gave up their assault.

Shortly after this exchange, it was announced we could board the ship. We grabbed our things and made our way to the escalators. At the top of the escalators we had to put our key card into a machine. Each time a card was entered, an electronic "ding" would signal success (while a "Clang" indicted failure) and the person would move forward. Our group passed through and began moving to the gangplank that led to the ship. As I was walking, behind me I heard a harsh "clang" and turned to see that the Germans cards were being rejected for some reason. They were informed they would have to go back to the tellers to correct the problem. This meant going to the very back of the line. I guess there is such a thing as karma after all.

Blogger of the Caribbean Part 2

When we last left off we were waiting for out flight at the Charlotte airport. From Charlotte our destination was Miami. The flights themselves were relatively uneventful and not really worth commenting on. One thing I will mention is that it seems airlines are truly equal opportunity employers now when it comes to flight attendants. I miss the old days when they were called stewardesses and had to be thin and attractive.

The ones we had looked like the lost children of Quasimodo. Please don't get me wrong. I have nothing against people of larger proportions (I am one myself) but you expect certain things from certain occupations. I don't think Hooters would be the success it is if they only hired flat chested women with faces that looked as if they had bobbed for french fries.

Wait a minute! I apologize for jumping around but something did happen on one of the flights that I should comment on. The flight from my town to Charlotte took place on a smallish twin propeller plan that would seat about 50 people. About halfway through the flight it became apparent someone was not feeling well. By not feeling well, I mean it smelled as though the proverbial "something" had crawled into "someone" and died. Now my loyal readers know how I feel about this type of situation (see my previous "scratch and sniff" post) but at 10,000 feet you can't exactly open a window to let some fresh air in.

I have learned with my son, that by the age of six, the part of the brain that controls what you say in public is non-existent. He gets one whiff and exclaims in a loud voice,

"Sheww-weeeee daddy someone farted!"

I'm not proud to admit my son knows and uses the word "fart" and I'm even less proud to admit that he probably learned it from me, but all attempts to get him to use a less profane word for flatulence (such a poot, toot, or even trouser cough) have met with failure.

To make matters even worse, he then says,

"Was that you daddy?"

Great. Now the entire flight thinks the fat guy who teaches his son lovely words cant control his bowel emissions.

So we land in Miami. We head down to the luggage carousel and while waiting on our luggage, a group of people holding Royal Caribbean signs approach. We collect our luggage, give it to the Royal Caribbean agents and are ushered onto a bus. The driver attempts a lame joke of trying to fool us into thinking we are on the wrong bus which was a mistake on his part. Most of us have been either on an airplane or in a airport for the better part of the day and are not really in the mood for jokes when we are (we think) so close to the end of our journey. For a moment I actually thought some of the other passengers were going to rush him. Instead, we all laugh nervously and off through Miami we go.

I know many of you may think I'm crazy for what I'm about to say, but I find bus rides soothing. I always have, even from the days of riding the yellow school bus. I find the ride from the terminal to the port helps to ease the tension that has built up throughout the day of travelling. Though half-lidded eyes I watched Miami slide past me on our journey. For once, my son is quiet and I am half asleep when I see our ship for the first time.

Cruise ship row is made up of three different cruise lines (from what I saw). Carnival, Norwegian, and Royal Caribbean all had ships berthed here. There were six ships in all, in a straight line. I must admit the sight of those six massive vessels all in a row was inspiring and obscene at the same time. I wish I had a picture to show you but honestly, I was so awestruck I completely forgot my camera until it was too late. I don't think it would matter anyway since I don't think any picture from my camera could do justice to what I saw.

After we get off the bus we are pointed in the direction of the port terminal for our ship and it is there I will end part 2. I know you are disappointed but don't fret! I'll have part 3 up before you know it!

Free Hug

With all the tragedy this week, I have retreated to my favorite things for comfort. Here is one of them. If you haven't already seen it take a look.

Virginia Tech

With the recent tragedy I just wanted to offer my thoughts and prayers to all the families of Virginia Tech. I've spent quite a bit of time on that campus as its only 40 minutes from where I live. Words truly fail me.

Blogger of the Caribbean Part 1

Our flight out of my home town left at 6:00am. Fortunately I live only about five minutes from the airport, but even still, with the new homeland security guidelines you are supposed to arrive at the airport one or two hours before the flight. This meant waking up at the wonderful hour of 3:30am to get everyone up and at the airport in time. Our original plan was to get all packing done and loaded in the car by 7:00pm so we could get at least get 6 hours sleep for the next days travel. I think I finally got in bed around 11:00pm. So much for the plan.

So it's up at 3:30am, showered, dressed and on the road toward the airport at 4:30am. The next part of our plan was to meet my mom and brother at the airport which went off as planned. What wasn't planned was my mom leaving her carry on bag back at her house (which of course has all the most important items for the trip). My brother was thrilled to have to rush back to the house and, of course, 4:30am is a wonderful time for family bonding during a stressful situation.

Something I found out about airports. Security doesn't find the antics of a 6 year old the least bit amusing. They also don't care for people using the word "bomb" while searching luggage. Finally, they really don't care for a 6 year old who use the word "bomb". There is a new process that I have never been through before when you are checking your baggage at the ticket counter. It seems security has a device that looks somewhat like a washing machine that somehow sniffs out your luggage for dangerous things. They don't actually place your luggage in the device but rather beside it. After pressing a few buttons they put a tag on your luggage and its whisked away to your plane (you hope). Well, like many 6 year old boys, my son is curious. I would even go so far as to say my son is really really curious and is not afraid to ask any question to any person on any subject at any time. He is also very persistent and refuses to stop asking each and every one of his questions until he has received enough satisfactory answers. He could give any member of the Spanish Inquisition a real run for their money. It only took one look at the danger sensing washing machine and the questions began.

"Daddy, what are they doing?"
"Checking the luggage Connor"
"What for?"
"For dangerous things Connor so our flight will be safe"
"Like what?"
"I'm not really sure Connor, I just hope they don't open our luggage and find all those french ticklers and anal lubricant your mom packed"
"Nuh Uh daddy"
"Cross my heart buddy"
"Nuh Uh..they are lookin for bombs"

It was at this point the agent stopped setting our luggage by the washing machine and turned to take a look at me.

"Sir, are you aware that it is a felony to even make a joke about bombs, grenades, or handguns while being processed through security at an airport?"

I have to say, that for a fraction of a second I came extremely close to looking him square in the eye and saying

"That reminds me, a bomb a grenade and a handgun walk into a bar...stop me if you've heard this one....."

But I didn't. I suspected if I had there was a very good chance anal lubricant would defiantly become part of the experience. I simply nodded, apologized and waited for him to clear us before moving on to the next part of security.

Part two of the security process is to remove your shoes and put everything you are carrying onto the conveyor belt that leads to what I assume is some sort of x-ray machine while walking through a metal detector. I cursed as I stepped through because I had forgotten to put a aluminium foil wrapped cucumber down in my pants ala Spinal Tap. Oh well, maybe next time.

So we board the plane which takes us to our first destination: Charlotte NC. We arrive on time and have about an hour layover before our flight to Miami.

In the above picture you can see my mom, brother (wearing the hat-I love the look on his face in that shot) and the top of my daughters head. If you look in the upper left you will see a childs legs dangling from a chair. That's my son. This is from the Charlotte airport waiting for our next flight.


Here is a better one of both my son and daughter, also at the Charlotte airport.

So this is where I will leave you for now, dedicated reader. Will our intrepid explorers make it to Miami?????? Will they safely embark on their journey???? Stay tuned for the next episode!!!!!...same bat time..same bat channel!!!

Scratch and Sniff

OK, I know you are dying for the next installment of the epic saga that was my vacation but something just happened that is a pet peeve of mine that I felt important enough to comment on.

I'm on my break at work and I head to the bathroom to relieve myself of the coffee and water I've consumed since lunch. I open the door and walk right into the airborne remnants of someones bowel movement. I know that the culprit of the aroma was simply using the room for the purpose in which it was designed but this doesn't do anything to make me feel better about taking microscopic pieces of their shit into my body via my nasal passages.

Even worse, after I concluded my business and was heading out of the bathroom I encounter someone going in. Great....now they think I did it.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

So I'm back from vacation. I meant to post that I would be absent for a bit before I left but last minute packing, etc. kept me off the computer. I also didn't figure it was that big a deal since I only have one person I know of reading my blog, and that's someone I know personally and already knew I would not be around for a week.

So, where have I been? For the last week my home has been the Freedom of the Seas . We left on Sunday April 8th and returned last night April 15th. My original goal was to post day by day the goings on of the trip, however the cost for Internet access from the ship was .25 a minute. I then opted for plan B which was a journal. I'll spare you a direct transcript and try to stick to only the highlights. I'll also try to avoid producing the blogging equivalent of watching a slide show if I can. So let's get started.

This trip consisted of my wife, 2 children, brother and mom. The whole adventure was funded by my mother and was her idea. My dad had fought cancer for years and my mom had taken care of him for all but the last couple of months. After he passed away, my mom decided she wanted to take everyone on a trip.

The original plan was for a trip on the Disney cruise line. After consideration though, we realized we would end up with a ship full of kids and although I love kids, being trapped on a floating hotel with 3000 of them for a week did not hold the appeal you might think it would. We also ruled out the Carnival cruise line since it has a reputation of having party ships. We are not really the "shake your groove thang" kinda people, so we looked at Royal Caribbean. Royal Caribbean seemed to be a nice blend of everything we wanted. They have a reputation of being the "laid-back" cruise line. Sounded perfect. Now all we needed was a destination.

We were all in agreement that we wanted somewhere warm so we decided on the Caribbean. As you may or may not know, there are lots of places to choose from but in the end we narrowed it down to a cruise that went to Cozumel-Mexico, Grand Cayman, Montego Bay-Jamaica, and Labadee-Haiti.

So we had our cruise line and destinations, which by default decided the ship on which we would sail. With all that behind us, all we had left to do was wait for the trip.

HYYYYI-YAHHH!!

As a child my parents did very little to encourage me in regards to sports. By very little, I mean nothing. I have very vague memories of playing catch a couple of times with my Dad but he was more the intellectual type than the physical. The only sporting event watched regularly at our house was the Olympics which was mainly my mom. Fortunately it was only two weeks out of every two years that my Dukes of Hazzard, A-team and Magnum P. I. viewing would be interrupted.

Because of this, I have very strong memories of being picked last for kickball and having to feign knowledge by nodding sagely whenever a friend of mine would begin discussing the merits of Joe Theismann, Larry Bird or Clyde Drexler (I had to Google to get those names).

In school, physical education class was the bane of my existence. From the donning of the uniform to the pleasure of communal showers I truly hated every minute.

So after these experiences, I determined when I had my children that they would not be sports rejects as I was. They would not know the shame of watching the entire outfield move to the infield when they were up to bat. They would know the basic rules of the game so as not to mistakenly think that a shortstop was a player who was to physically stop a runner from progressing from first base to second base (true story). And maybe, just maybe they would actually be picked first for once. I was determined that the cycle of sporting incompetence would die with me.

The problem now, however, was this:

How does one instill knowledge in subject they know nothing about?

It was a quandary. The good news is that my children seem to grow at about the same speed as I mature as a parent so it's working out so far. Also I had a girl first so I had someone to practice on. It was not as crucial that my daughter has as competent a grasp on sports as my son. After all, its not really a big deal if someone tells her she runs or throws like a girl is it?

So is all this leading somewhere? Not really except to announce my son has progressed in karate from white belt to yellow belt. That's right, I said karate. It's a sport...its on ESPN sometimes anyways. At the very least, as long as he sticks with it, if anyone tells him he runs and throws like a girl he will be able to kick their ass.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

So I ordered the above mentioned movie off Ebay about a week ago. I decided to splurge and ordered directly from Tura Satana (who plays Varla in the film) in order to get a signed copy and a autographed 8 x 10 (Yea, I'm a dork). Well I got it in the mail yesterday and I must say I'm not the least bit disappointed. With the 60's campy dialogue, overacting, and scantily clad women with breasts the size of my head (wrestling each other, no less!) this movie is a classic!

Where the Hell is Matt?

As promised, a humorous post for today. I guess this falls more in the category of inspirational though. Yes it's real. See for yourself on his website. Check it out. Its a pretty interesting story. He has a second (earlier) video there but this is my favorite. Pretty cool stuff. Why didn't I think of this?

Speechless

I was going to post on the name of my blog and my train of thought led me to Mel Blanc. For those too young to remember or know he provided most of the voices for the Looney Toons characters.

I'll post later on my blog name but I got to thinking of a tribute poster that Warner Brothers put out shortly after Mel died that I always thought was touching. Rest in peace Mel.

Good Morning

Time to get to work.

1. water-check
2. coffee-check
3. pad-check
4. pen-check
5. computer on-check
6. headset on-check
7. lunatics-check

sigh

Fear of Girls

There is way too much that is depressing in life so I'll try to share something humorous each day that I post. Today it's something that's one of my favorites. Have a look . Now if you have never played Dungeons & Dragons (I have) then odds are you don't know people like this (I do). Cracks me up every time.

Back again

OK, so who is this Jeff fellow and what can I expect from yet another blogger? Well let's see...

#1 Poor English skills. Despite several years of college and the public school system I just can't seem to grasp proper grammar. I apologize in advance to all you English majors out there. Expect run on sentences and improper punctuation. If you have a problem take the escape pod now!!

#2 Very little in the way of shiny, flashy thingys...at least in the beginning till I get the hang of this blogging thing.

#3 Almost no discussion on politics. Its not that I'm not interested in political issues....I'm just not interested in blogging about them. If you just have to know, I don't see myself as a Republican or a Democrat. I try to vote for the man/woman who I hope will do the best job based on the current state of the government. That's all I have to say about that.

So how about a little about me now. I've been married for 13 years (to the same woman) and have 2 kids (that I know of...hardy har har) ages 9 and 6 (girl and boy respectively). I'm quite sure you will be hearing quite a bit about them if you continue to visit my blog. I have a job I hate with the phone company but it pays well and has incredible benefits so I keep showing up every morning. I have a older brother who is awesome and a mom who is also awesome (if a bit neurotic) .

OK I guess that's enough for this installment. Have to leave em wanting more!!! Until next time.

Every Journey Begins With a Single Step

So I've finally gone and created my first blog. I have been thinking of it for some time now but the proverbial straw that finally motivated me may make for a bit of interesting reading. Or not. We will see.

I decided to try and locate an old friend via Google. Its almost frightening how much information that place holds. Maybe they should change their name to "BigBrother". Sorry, I digress. Anyways, I find my friend through a simple search of his name and the town he lives in. In the course of my search I also discover that he has been running his own blog for close to five years. Holy crap!..He is like the Christopher Columbus of blogging! I didn't even know blogging was around 5 years ago. Once you get to know me you wont be surprised by my blog ignorance (assuming you were surprised). So after reading through many pages of his blog I decided it was time to give it a shot. Odds are this will be my only post but hopefully ill keep it going for a while. Until next time.